hello everyone,and,as most of you probably know,my aunty Peg Margaret.
was quite...she quite likeed to control things that happened and this is no exception.
So she's written her own eulogy for me to read out.
"I've been going to church every Sunday for my enitre life.
For the first 60 years it was because I believed in heaven.
I was terrified of dying,of becoming nothing.
I don't think I believe in heaven anymore.
but,after 60 years of Sunday mornings,I thought I may as well commit and hedge my bets.
Also,I quite enjoyed the morning tea.
I've requested to be buried,because I want my body to be given to nature.I want it to be
snacked on by plants and animals,the way I have snacked on plants and animals througout my
My family,Rose and Josh,aren't ideal.
Rose has pretty much been a kook her whole life,and Josh has decided to become a homosexual.
But they're all I've got.
The two of them have taught me the most important lesson of my life,and that is that you
don't love the people you love because they do what you want,but because of who they are.
If you're hearing this sorry little speech,it's because I'm dead,and the terrible thing
about that,is that I won't be sharing my life with the two people I love most in the world,
my almost-daughter Rose and my almost-grandson Josh."
I think that was her being nice,although honestly I'm not sure.
"Don't make too much fuss over my death.I finished all the good parts of my life a couple of
decades ago.I'm looking forward to joining my husband Walter,whether it be in heaven or hell,
or in the bellies of maggots."
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